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Realizing our Greatest FlawsThe worst feeling in the world
Is the realization
That we are no longer children.
When we were young
We spent our nights
Hiding from the monsters under our beds.
We feared the vampires
Whose sharp fangs tore us apart
Only to drink red from our veins.
We were terrified of the zombie
Devouring our minds and only wanting more.
Who use to be like us
But no longer can reach humanity, living in isolation.
We were afraid of the dark,
As it consumes us and our understanding
Concealing what might be there.
What we feared was there.
Ghosts haunted our past
And goblins filled us with fright.
We hid under our covers,
And tried to escape from
What we could not see,
But what we believed to be.
But what is most terrifying
Is that the monsters
Our flaws reflected through our dreadful imaginations.
And now we cannot hide
Because we must face our greatest fear
When we gaze into our mirrors.
A Terrifying Realization of Everlasting HeartbreakLove is terrifying.
I am afraid of looking into someones eyes
And seeing a future.
How lovely it would be
To hold out your hand and not be afraid of falling down.
To not be afraid of loosing yourself
And then watching them leave with everything you loved.
I have never loved myself,
Or felt content when I looked in the mirror.
So the day he walks out that door,
I do not think that my feet will stay planted.
I do not think my legs will stand strong,
Or my eyes look ahead,
Or my heart stay complete.
Because being in love is giving someone your heart
And trusting them to keep it close.
Love is falling and praying they will catch you.
And I do not believe that I will make it out of this world alive.
So I stray from the idea of a future
And avoid looking others in the eyes
Because I am afraid of seeing the constellations in their pupils,
Or finding an ending in their smile.
Because my heart is afraid of oblivion
And so I can only hope to fall
And only hope to love.
Blind LoveMaybe his glasses are on all wrong.
Or he hurt his ear listening to music too long.
He must have looked too long at the sky
Perhaps he has mist in his eye
It may be the wind took away his sight
Or maybe the sky took away his flight
He must be blind
To possibly find
Something good in me and my life
Depressing Thoughts Are All I KnowI want it to stop.
The pain in my chest I mean.
When I close my eyes I don't want to open them again
When I open my eyes I want to go.
I'm hoping for it to end
Because my bones are shaking
And the end is dawning
And I don't like it.
I should have something to live for.
I'm probably being dramatic.
Taking the broken and crumbling it to dust.
I'm probably being crazy
With my wicked thought and my shrouded smiles.
I'm probably being stupid
With these ideas touched by cigarette ash.
I'm delusional, hallucinating my own fate
But I'm alive.
I want it to stop.
Sitting here with a knot trapped in my fist is only
But all the same
This screaming in my head
Is louder then the pounding in my heart.
And as my breath is bated
And my lungs fill with the ashes of tonight
I let myself fall, and I allow myself to
New Ideas are FormingSuddenly it’s hard to breathe.
My heart is racing and it is becoming difficult to
How can I do this?
How do I do this?
My heart won’t stop hurting
My head won’t stop hurting.
It’s hard to stop shaking
To stop hurting.
To stop loving.
I’m so afraid of the future that I forget my past.
It’s suddenly hard to breathe.
Their words are stinging and their actions are burning
And I can’t understand their words.
Their words are drowning in my mind
In my bitter thoughts.
It’s suddenly hard to breathe.
To stop this aching
And the breaking
And the taking and oh how hard it is to stop
I think that is the hardest part of it all.
To tell yourself that it doesn't’t matter where you turn
The end is always around the corner.
It’s suddenly hard to breathe
ExpressionsI wish I were a better poet
So I could tell you how I feel.
Because these words get stuck in my throat
And make my emotions unreal.
I wish I were a better poet
And these words came from me.
Because when I think of you
The words don’t come so easily.
You twist words as if they are clay
Create beauty from 26 letters.
So how can I be good at this
When I know you can do better?
But for you I wish to type these thoughts down
To try to truly show it.
Because when you stop and smile at me
I wish I were a better poet.
No WordsI cannot speak.
My tongue is glued to my teeth and this stupid smile.
My words won't form
And I don't know how to breathe.
Heart pounding a mile a minute
And chest aching
I cannot speak.
You take these words from my mouth
And you turn them into shaking fingers and blushing faces.
I am tongue tied and heart twisted and falling.
What do I do.
With your perfect soul staring at me.
How does speech work.
How do I form the words off the tip of my tongue
And let them roll down my side like rain.
Typing feels like an eternity as I write this down.
I don't know how words work because you take them away.
And when our lips meet the world disappeared
And I no longer needed words.
Because my words are now yours.
And my beating heart tells you my story.
A story about a broken girl with broken eyes
And a boy who shone light through the cracks
And created a sunrise.
So this is what it is like to drown.So this is what it is like to drown.
To close your eyes and slowly suffocate,
To hold your head underwater and feel like up is down
Emotions seem to know no bounds.
Your head is reeling.
Disappearing into a moment in time when you looked at your wrists and all you saw was nothing.
When you stared at your reflection and all you felt was nothing.
When the numbness inside became more than nothing, when it become broken.
The strands that held us together no more,
And our eyes no longer have life.
Breathe in, Breathe out.
Hold on to what you consider sanity
And sink below the surface.
You smile a broken grin that is too wide for your face.
You break life into your eyes and hope that they don’t see the cracked glass.
Pity is nothing to us.
I am nothing
So this is what it is like to be a dear in headlights.
To open your eyes to a blinding realization that you am changed.
To stare int
Broken Mirrors and Flawed ProtectionOver time we learn to hate ourselves.
We search for flaws in a cracked bathroom mirror
These reflections are not us
They are our demons.
We look and look for our very flaw
But aren’t we all creations?
Aren’t we all perfect because of our imperfections?
Why must we search for satisfaction and acceptance from a broken idea?
I have learned from experience that skinny is acceptable.
That having curves and having a flat stomach is more important than having a soul.
I learned from the social norms and the magazines that I am flawed.
But I am myself.
Am I not good enough for you?
Am I not what you look for when you search for sexual fantasies?
I do not apologize for my stomach or my thighs.
I am not sorry for my freckles or my pimples or my chipped fingernails.
I will not apologize for my predetermined, biological, programed features.
I will not be a perfect image of society
Because we are all different.
Because when I stare in the mirror
All I see is myself.
And you know what?
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
Broken or UnbrokenI'm afraid of the day he learns to love himself.
For the day he looks down at his wrists and sees the stars
For the day where he opens his mind and breaks down these bars
For the day his scars reveal the golden interior.
I'm terrified of the day he sees his worth.
The day where his eyes shine like silver
And his heart beats in time to the marching of his feet
I'm afraid of the day he sees how beautiful he is
For that is the day he leaves me
ReflectionsVal's pursuit led him to the foul beast's domain. The hollowed-out cavern reeked of blood and rancid meat. The dim light he had seen as he charged through the tunnel after the monster could now be identified: torches. Rows of mysteriously lit torches lined the walls of the huge cave. At its center was a substantially large labyrinth of mirrors.
He spotted the beast entering.
He spun his silver broadsword in his hand and hurried in behind it.
His garb was a simple blue and white crusader's leather with thick armored pads and reinforcing steel studs. Lightweight and flexible, but quite effective defense against blunt blows and – in a pinch – the slashing claws of the unholy spawn of the earth. All monster-hunters wore a similar variety in Val's experience. It would serve him well in these close quarters of the mirrored maze.
Right, left, forward, left, right he turned, always catching a glimpse of the beast's tail as he wove his way through the corridors. Every so often he sp
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More