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Realizing our Greatest FlawsThe worst feeling in the world
Is the realization
That we are no longer children.
When we were young
We spent our nights
Hiding from the monsters under our beds.
We feared the vampires
Whose sharp fangs tore us apart
Only to drink red from our veins.
We were terrified of the zombie
Devouring our minds and only wanting more.
Who use to be like us
But no longer can reach humanity, living in isolation.
We were afraid of the dark,
As it consumes us and our understanding
Concealing what might be there.
What we feared was there.
Ghosts haunted our past
And goblins filled us with fright.
We hid under our covers,
And tried to escape from
What we could not see,
But what we believed to be.
But what is most terrifying
Is that the monsters
Our flaws reflected through our dreadful imaginations.
And now we cannot hide
Because we must face our greatest fear
When we gaze into our mirrors.
A Terrifying Realization of Everlasting HeartbreakLove is terrifying.
I am afraid of looking into someones eyes
And seeing a future.
How lovely it would be
To hold out your hand and not be afraid of falling down.
To not be afraid of loosing yourself
And then watching them leave with everything you loved.
I have never loved myself,
Or felt content when I looked in the mirror.
So the day he walks out that door,
I do not think that my feet will stay planted.
I do not think my legs will stand strong,
Or my eyes look ahead,
Or my heart stay complete.
Because being in love is giving someone your heart
And trusting them to keep it close.
Love is falling and praying they will catch you.
And I do not believe that I will make it out of this world alive.
So I stray from the idea of a future
And avoid looking others in the eyes
Because I am afraid of seeing the constellations in their pupils,
Or finding an ending in their smile.
Because my heart is afraid of oblivion
And so I can only hope to fall
And only hope to love.
Blind LoveMaybe his glasses are on all wrong.
Or he hurt his ear listening to music too long.
He must have looked too long at the sky
Perhaps he has mist in his eye
It may be the wind took away his sight
Or maybe the sky took away his flight
He must be blind
To possibly find
Something good in me and my life
Depressing Thoughts Are All I KnowI want it to stop.
The pain in my chest I mean.
When I close my eyes I don't want to open them again
When I open my eyes I want to go.
I'm hoping for it to end
Because my bones are shaking
And the end is dawning
And I don't like it.
I should have something to live for.
I'm probably being dramatic.
Taking the broken and crumbling it to dust.
I'm probably being crazy
With my wicked thought and my shrouded smiles.
I'm probably being stupid
With these ideas touched by cigarette ash.
I'm delusional, hallucinating my own fate
But I'm alive.
I want it to stop.
Sitting here with a knot trapped in my fist is only
But all the same
This screaming in my head
Is louder then the pounding in my heart.
And as my breath is bated
And my lungs fill with the ashes of tonight
I let myself fall, and I allow myself to
New Ideas are FormingSuddenly it’s hard to breathe.
My heart is racing and it is becoming difficult to
How can I do this?
How do I do this?
My heart won’t stop hurting
My head won’t stop hurting.
It’s hard to stop shaking
To stop hurting.
To stop loving.
I’m so afraid of the future that I forget my past.
It’s suddenly hard to breathe.
Their words are stinging and their actions are burning
And I can’t understand their words.
Their words are drowning in my mind
In my bitter thoughts.
It’s suddenly hard to breathe.
To stop this aching
And the breaking
And the taking and oh how hard it is to stop
I think that is the hardest part of it all.
To tell yourself that it doesn't’t matter where you turn
The end is always around the corner.
It’s suddenly hard to breathe
ExpressionsI wish I were a better poet
So I could tell you how I feel.
Because these words get stuck in my throat
And make my emotions unreal.
I wish I were a better poet
And these words came from me.
Because when I think of you
The words don’t come so easily.
You twist words as if they are clay
Create beauty from 26 letters.
So how can I be good at this
When I know you can do better?
But for you I wish to type these thoughts down
To try to truly show it.
Because when you stop and smile at me
I wish I were a better poet.
No WordsI cannot speak.
My tongue is glued to my teeth and this stupid smile.
My words won't form
And I don't know how to breathe.
Heart pounding a mile a minute
And chest aching
I cannot speak.
You take these words from my mouth
And you turn them into shaking fingers and blushing faces.
I am tongue tied and heart twisted and falling.
What do I do.
With your perfect soul staring at me.
How does speech work.
How do I form the words off the tip of my tongue
And let them roll down my side like rain.
Typing feels like an eternity as I write this down.
I don't know how words work because you take them away.
And when our lips meet the world disappeared
And I no longer needed words.
Because my words are now yours.
And my beating heart tells you my story.
A story about a broken girl with broken eyes
And a boy who shone light through the cracks
And created a sunrise.
So this is what it is like to drown.So this is what it is like to drown.
To close your eyes and slowly suffocate,
To hold your head underwater and feel like up is down
Emotions seem to know no bounds.
Your head is reeling.
Disappearing into a moment in time when you looked at your wrists and all you saw was nothing.
When you stared at your reflection and all you felt was nothing.
When the numbness inside became more than nothing, when it become broken.
The strands that held us together no more,
And our eyes no longer have life.
Breathe in, Breathe out.
Hold on to what you consider sanity
And sink below the surface.
You smile a broken grin that is too wide for your face.
You break life into your eyes and hope that they don’t see the cracked glass.
Pity is nothing to us.
I am nothing
So this is what it is like to be a dear in headlights.
To open your eyes to a blinding realization that you am changed.
To stare int
Broken Mirrors and Flawed ProtectionOver time we learn to hate ourselves.
We search for flaws in a cracked bathroom mirror
These reflections are not us
They are our demons.
We look and look for our very flaw
But aren’t we all creations?
Aren’t we all perfect because of our imperfections?
Why must we search for satisfaction and acceptance from a broken idea?
I have learned from experience that skinny is acceptable.
That having curves and having a flat stomach is more important than having a soul.
I learned from the social norms and the magazines that I am flawed.
But I am myself.
Am I not good enough for you?
Am I not what you look for when you search for sexual fantasies?
I do not apologize for my stomach or my thighs.
I am not sorry for my freckles or my pimples or my chipped fingernails.
I will not apologize for my predetermined, biological, programed features.
I will not be a perfect image of society
Because we are all different.
Because when I stare in the mirror
All I see is myself.
And you know what?
Death isn't a fresh perspectiveI saw my mother
swallowing something small
when I was just a child
The anguish in her eyes
faded, as she told me
it was just a
with a little extra kick
maybe years later,
that's how I convinced
to swallow fifteen,
give me a fresh perspective;
in the end,
my breath reeked
instead of mint.
Our Captain (Robin Williams Remembrance Poem)Oh, Captain
We’ve never had,
A Friend like You.
You came to us as an Alien,
from the Planet Ork.
But through the Years,
You made Home in Our Hearts
We Saluted You over the Airwaves
We Watched You get Sucked in a Game,
And Haul Your Family in the Big Rolling Turd.
You were a British Nanny,
Who was actually their Dad.
A Business Man,
Who was actually Peter Pan.
A Crazy Scientist,
Making a Being called Flubber.
Who Just Wanted to be Free.
You were a Robot,
Made of Rusty Old Parts.
We’ve never had,
A Friend like You.
You became the Man of the Year,
And the Wax Figurine Exhibit
Of the Twenty-Sixth President
Of the United States of America.
You Were the World’s Greatest Dad,
And the World’s Greatest Therapist.
You Had a License to Wed
And be a Kid,
Who Grew Up Four Times Too Fast.
You only Won One Oscar.
But that’s okay.
We Love all Your Other Works Anyways…
We Will Miss You
fall in love with (splitting hairline fractures)we swallow blues instead
of talking them out. oh,
kids like us are specters,
spectacles: boys counting
rib(cage)s & (de)composing
don't you hate
is a vessel
we're deities or tomb-raiders; no
in-betweens for writers these days
Dark SideThere's another side of me
A side I barely show
It's my dark side
And my pride
The time I showed it to my friends
They were shocked, worried
I will tell you what they said
Decide for me
If these are what you call
One said 'just be happy'
One said 'that isn't true!'
One said ' but I've got it much worse'
One said 'don't be annoying'
One said nothing at all
Only One listened
That could be you
This is my dark side
The one that tells the truth
It makes me write
It keeps my dreams
It is everything I have
But no one knows
DoormatI let you walk
All over me
Like the floor
Beneath your feet
And I never complain
The floor doesn't
If the floor complained
When you walked on it
You would be very annoyed
And you would probably
So I don't complain
Because I don't want
To be replaced
And I let you
Push me around
Like a cart
Through a shop
And I never push back
The cart doesn't
If the cart pushed back
When you pushed it
You would get hurt
And you would probably
So I don't push back
Because I don't want
To be left alone
Now, and forever more
Who lets you
Wipe your feet on my face
I love you
But I question
If you love me back
Because who would love
A dirty old Doormat?
I died todayI died today
Took my own life
I was tired
I was desperate
And now I'm dead
People never cared
So I left them behind
Now a new life awaits
Beyond the gates of Hell
SkinnyI wish you'd believe me,
When I tell you you're pretty,
That you don't need to skip a meal or run 7 miles,
Just so you can be skinny,
You talk about how you hate yourself,
You wish you could be stunning, beautiful, gorgeous.
You think that if you looked like a model,
That you'd never be lonely,
Everyone would love you.
You think you d get that guy you ve been dreaming of,
Maybe mommy and daddy wouldn't be so harsh if they had a pretty little girl.
You re skin and bone,
But that is not good enough,
You need less and less,
And every pound that disappears,
You begin to lose yourself in a vicious cycle.
Until you re consumed and it eats away at you.
I beg you to listen to me,
I want you to know that you mean everything,
But you don't care,
And then when the ambulances came,
And carried you away...
There was nothing more I could say...
I guess you were unaware,
That you were already beautiful.
each kiss carries
context and content,
sad eyes pour into mine
like a swimming pool
being filled with angels’ tears.
i cup her face in my hands,
trying to hold all of the water
that escapes her
as i gently kiss her forehead.
i will cradle her cerebrum
and maintain our composure.
i will protect you.
refers to the hands on a clock,
as well as the anatomical.
and this kiss is subtle,
but it represents our passing of time.
i started this with my mother at 13,
and only a few embraces away from 18.
with our fingers locking
themselves to adolescence.
i never have visibly blushed,
but i swear my flushed cheek
burned where your left your lips
for nearly a lifetime.
at least that’s what it felt like.
i kissed the blinds
that covered the windows
of your soul
to let you know
the sun still shone
even if your eyes were close
Broken or UnbrokenI'm afraid of the day he learns to love himself.
For the day he looks down at his wrists and sees the stars
For the day where he opens his mind and breaks down these bars
For the day his scars reveal the golden interior.
I'm terrified of the day he sees his worth.
The day where his eyes shine like silver
And his heart beats in time to the marching of his feet
I'm afraid of the day he sees how beautiful he is
For that is the day he leaves me
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More